Quiq-FiQs #2726: Figure-ing Out Food Prep With 10 Amazing Life Hacks!

Imagine yourself: you’re standing in your kitchen, and you just need something to eat!  But suddenly it dawns on you:  you don’t have any clean utensils!  Now, kitchen utensil advocates would have you believe that washing your utensils is the easiest path, but that involves who knows how many untold seconds of work.  You’re hungry now!  Well, don’t worry!  We’ve got 10 great at-home hacks that’ll make your life so much easier, and have you eating in no time, no cleaning required!

Step 1: Make Your Flour!


If you know the Juggernaut, you know he’s gonna wreck it!  Why not channel that wrecking into something handy?  You’ll need flour, so go ahead and grab those oats you’ve got gathering dust, and grind them into a nice, fine, flour.  No work required!

Step 2: Roll Your Dough!


That tall lump of dough isn’t going to do you any good in it’s current state.  Better flatten it out with your Transformers War For Cybertron: Kingdom Ultra Magnus (or other similar Ultra Magnuses, depending on what you’ve got available in your kitchen)!  That tall dough’s not a problem any more!

Step 3: Makin’ the Sauce!


Oh no!  Plain dough is so bland and tasteless!  Better grab some tomatoes to make a tasty sauce!  Rotorstorm will make the perfect tool for blending those tomatoes into NOTHING!  Wow, delicious!

Step 5: Making Ice Ice Baby!


Bobby’s so tightly wound these days!  We need to help him chill out!  A little water and a trip to the freezer will be the perfect touch!  Totally refreshing!

Step 6: It’s a Great Day for Grating!


This block of cheese is the wrong shape and it’s just awful!  Let’s destroy it!  The pauldrons on your Medieval Spawn will make the perfect surface to shred that cheese down to size!  Not even all the angels in heaven can save you now cheese!

Step 7: Getting Straight to the Sauce


With those tomatoes pulverized into submission, it’s time to dispense some American justice!  The natural properties of Cap’s vibranium shield make for a nice even spread.  Thanks Cap!

Step 8:  Have a Blast–Of Cheese!


It’s time for the finishing blow!  Load up your Nerf Cheese Shotgun, and let that sucker have it!  Who’s your Superman? Oh, yeah!

Step 9: The Iceman Cometh


Bobby’s coming out for a thirst trap!  Dunk that boy in a tall glass of water!  Totally refreshing!

Step 10: The Two-Pronged Approach!


Ouch, that oven sure is toasty!  Better grab your extra long Stilt-Man in order to safely open up the oven door, to reveal your tasty treat!  Third degree burns are a thing of the past!

Step 10: Venom 2: Let There Be Carnage


This Pizza seeks to deny you your happiness.  Time to divide and conquer your creation!  Your Carnage figure’s axe hand attachment is the perfect instrument of your pizza’s doom!  Show that cheesy ingrate no mercy!

Delicious Time!


Now you are master of your creations!  Devour them and cement your legacy!  There is no escape!  Your domination is now absolute–What a breeze!

3 responses

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s